emptiness.
pendulum swing.
not knowing.
(surface)? emptiness... still air..
still leaves, birdless. waiting?
cars, trucks, movement -
pressing on, searching...
searching empty caverns
saturated with ghosts of memories,
nothing to sustain...
futility...
purely baffled by "where's the meaning"?
the search wends its way,
aching at every curve,
forcing an unsatisfactory resolution,
the smelling and the feeling
of mildewed dolls and lost loves...
oh GOD,
enveloping and crushing the heart -
oh PAIN
at its dullest and most stale...
an eternal kind.
blessed, sweet, sharp, violent,
penetrating matter,
a delving blade
with edges sharpened
as though by master craftsmen
of the steel -
to take you instead
should bring a warming,
softening to the face -
relief like muscles coursing
with seething waves of pleasure -
terrifying,
lovely crack and release
of the shell...
...but the downturned features return,
precision predictability yet, yet -
again, takes the helm.
cursed dullness
too dampening to curse...
matted, muted, muffled.
batting and blankets and blindness.
nothing stirs.
quick search!
i found blankness.
sadness.
death, loss, transience.
don't hold to it,
don't become attached..
surely as the blankness wraps
and suffocates the heart,
you will lose.