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a journey through darkness to light from the Writing Collection of Veena Khurana Khurana, India

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Veena Khurana Khurana, India


a journey through darkness to light

A journey through darkness to light

Well it was the festive time, there was gaiety all round, diwali was just round the corner but my world had fallen apart. 14 oct was a doomsday for me as my husband left for his heavenly abode. Suddenly life came to a abrupt halt there was nothing to look forward to , I was totally devastated and was withdrawing myself in a cocoon that overflowed with grief , loneliness, and insecurity of trudging ahead without having someone to lean on . often I was defeated by the sense of hopelessness and a deeper introspection revealed that in the acquisition of bigger material gains we miss out on the small pleasures of day to day life which later on becomes a treasure to cherish.
This realization came a little late when there was nothing but a sense of repentance, of having pushed aside the small joys of life, the loss of dear one kept oozing unbearable pain. I tried to keep a outward façade of cheerfulness, of course I was deceiving none but myself as I was bleeding inside and this baggage of grief became unbearable at the dead of night, when even the constant flow of tears could not wash away the pain only if the tears could wash and leave the heart like a clean slate where life could be restarted with renewed hope,. And of course with his arm around me.
Though emotionally weak but i hated the glare of sympathy and needed desperately to connect myself socially, emotionally and mentally, well soul curry was a platform for that.
A total nonconformist throughout my life suffered for the first time from the guilt pangs for having not observed karva chauth or not adhered to any ritualistic mumbo jumbo, a sort of a doctrinaire who always wanted to live on her own terms had now become like a vulnerable leaf in a strong storm being windblown to unknown dark destinations, yes I was in the midst of this jungle of indifferent civilization. But while wading through the rough weather ,the fragmented pieces of thoughts assimilated into a awakening of new knowledge and there came a sudden enlightenment that with his passing away he paved a path for me towards the unknown dissolving all fears of death, I am grateful to him for this parting gift of self-realization, of realization of supreme existence of God. Now I have become the richest women of this universe by my thoughts, and actions, the materialistic cravings have become irrelevant, a sense of detachment has seeped in.
I can now feel my husband’s essence in the existence of god. The internal void is filled through the journey of enlightenment. I know his physical form is not there for me to see but my connectivity is not to his physical form but to his eternal soul.
Veena Khurana

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FromComment about document or authorResponse CountryResponse Added
dear thumeka if u love someone its beyond the physical trappings, its great 2 know that at such an young age u hv understood it so well, god bless u.7/13/2010 8:58:39 AM
THUMEKA HLOTSHANAwow,i am only 19years old and am still trying to comprehend all that love is and having read your inspiring piece i must conclude that i now know that it's not just about the physical but about the connection of souls as well.SOUTH AFRICA7/12/2010 5:05:57 AM
Rainy StegallWhat a beautiful tribute to yourself and your husband... Real love is forever... BLESSED BE!USA8/19/2009 11:15:58 AM
Keeshler La'Chaunt PittmanBeautiful and inspiring.USA8/19/2009 7:50:55 AM
veena khuranahi kiran hws everything i will get in touch with u shortly, here is something to read about my feelings thanxindia2/12/2009 5:35:28 AM
veena khuranadear Ramachandran i can understand the loss of a dear one , how terrible it must hv been , having sailed on the same boat. i feel in the journey of life we hv to connect ourselves to the soul rather than the flesh as this will decay with time but the soul will be connected frm one journey of life to another. every begining has an end and every end has an begining.india2/9/2009 2:00:33 AM
My name, Rajaram Ramachandran, (77 years old) has not come against the last comment I wrote "This article touched my heart deeply............................six years back. So, this is a supplementary comment over the earlier one.2/5/2009 4:01:05 AM
This article touched my heart deeply. This has set an example for any grief stricken person, to attach to the Soul rather than the flesh and bones of the departed and how to overcome the grief by cultivating the divine thoughts and actions. The message is full of positive outlook in one's life. The same thing I am also following, having lost my beloved wife six years back.2/4/2009 7:39:41 PM
Marcia SchechingerVeena to express death and give hope for comfort for the survivors is a remarkable attribute you have shown in this story. Impecible in its presence, genuine in its personal feelings of confusion I compliment you on your fortitude in relating your experience with losing a loved one. I will take these thoughts with me as I morn my two brothers knowing we are connected still spiritually. Congratulations on winning - well deserved. :)USA1/25/2009 7:12:17 PM
Nancy CrosslandVeena - Congratulations on this poignant and emotional writing! You certainly are well deserving of this recognition.USA1/25/2009 1:08:23 AM
thelmaThank you for sharing your wonderful Journey through the darkness to light, I am sure many will find comfort knowning there is a way to overcome grief at the loss of a loved one, each must do it in their own way and find that light as you have! many condolenses to you Veena!australia1/11/2009 1:18:22 AM
Nancy CrosslandVeena- You have shared a most private and personal part of yourself, which I feel is an honor. My deepest condolences to you in your loss. You have taken steps to healing as told in your very touching writing. Your gift of expression is a wonderful healer. You husband will always be near you. Bless you.USA1/10/2009 8:56:05 PM
Lee Emmettmy sincere condolences to you and your family ... in my bereavement, faith and trusted, stalwart friends have helped me get through each day ... it's an emotionally bumpy road for survivors ...Australia1/9/2009 7:28:06 AM
kanika khannaHi Veena, i'm really sorry for your loss. I can understand how unbearable it is to carry on without a loved one. & I can somehow relate with your tragedy as I lost my mother in Nov,2008 only. I want to congratulate you as you have understood life and God. I've lost faith in both of them. I hope someday I'd also be able to raise my thinking and understanding. God bless you!India1/9/2009 7:12:05 AM
Hema RaviBy writing about your tragedy and how you are coming to terms with it, you have shared a page from your book which another can read and follow, whenever they are in the midst of a crisis.....perhaps of a different kind too. My heart-felt condolences and prayers are with you, Veena India1/9/2009 6:31:57 AM
veena khurana Dr Sudarsan, thanks a lot for sharing my grief and for your valuable words of comfort.india1/9/2009 5:28:46 AM
veena khuranahi Babs, thanks a ton for reading/sharing. and understanding my grief god bless u .india1/9/2009 5:23:34 AM
Babs CunninghamBless you for sharing this with the unknown and the ungrateful. I really do not comment on very many poems or writings because I am particular about many things...but this touched my heart, the grief within me, the sadness I can't let go and your sadness. Thank you so much for sharing!!USA1/8/2009 12:59:22 AM
Babs CunninghamHow moving!! I was moved by this and I, honestly, do not comment on very many things because I am sooo particular!! The feelings of grief and loss and genuinity were all there. Bless you for sharing and having the strength for your openness!!USA1/8/2009 12:57:27 AM
Dr Sudarsan PrasadDear Veena Bhabhi, I was moved by your poignant prose, which is much better than any poetry!. I was introduced to voicesnet barely a month back,and has understood that the best of literature is born in the womb of misery. We all have our private grief, a gulf which cannot be bridged by any individual or even other loved ones or deep friends!. Try spending time with young children, In no time ,you will find the wounds healing ,for children are the best bridges to connect to the cosmic mother,whose lap is ever warm and ready for all her crying children! Try reading the 11 chapter of Bhagavata ,in which Uddav's request to Lord Krishna to take him along ,is sadly refused by the Lord. May God give you strength in your hour of need! INDIA1/6/2009 9:42:34 AM

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