King Arthur and the Police

a writing by Paul Butters

Yorkshire. Monday 26th July, 2010. 10.40.

Yesterday I saw an interesting telly documentary about King Arthur. Most people believe that his home fortress, called Camelot, was located somewhere near Cornwall. The Welsh, of course, insist he lived in Wales. There is a further belief, by the way, that if Britain is ever in dire trouble from invasion or whatever, the mountains will open up and Arthur and his knights will emerge to save us.

However, according to that programme, recent scientific investigation suggests Camelot was in... Chester! Their argument is that Chester was in fact one of the larger Roman city forts having a great “coliseum” in the centre. That coliseum is said to have inspired the legend of the “round table”. Arthur was a British Christian who fought twelve major battles against the invading Saxons. He fought at locations ranging from Scotland to West Wales and Cornwall. Apparently Arthur won his final battle, but after he’d gone, the Saxons eventually took all of England and pushed most of the British resistance into Wales.

I think this is a most convincing account of events. They say that history is written by the victors and “spun” accordingly. Little wonder that those Southerners would claim Arthur as their own! I think he were a Yorkshireman lol, who settled for a base in Cheshire. Seriously though, Arthur could indeed have been a Northerner. However, famous Northerners such as Richard The Third and those who supported Cromwell for example got very bad press. I rest my case.

Changing the subject: over the weekend I found myself driving Mum down from Baildon Moor into the outskirts of Bingley. Just before I reached a cattle grid, an elderly gentleman driving up from Bingley waved me down. Yes, I thought, better go slow over this grid. But no. As I turned a corner I was confronted by two police ladies, one aiming a big camera at me. I glanced left. A thirty sign. At my dashboard: about twenty three. Phew! Then again I would not be surprised if I receive a speeding ticket and loss of licence points. All the subsequent signs said twenty. Did I misread that first sign? We’ll see.

At a time when the government are threatening big cuts to police personnel, were they out chasing dangerous criminals and terrorists? No, these ladies were hiding behind an obscure country-road corner, harassing decent motorists to fill the police coffers. Again I rest my case. Enough for now.

Paul Butters

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