What Am I?

a writing by Paul Butters

(A Blog) Yorkshire. Thursday, 29th July 2010.

13.50. (From my Confidential Journal). Not making many entries here these days. Good...

... Been reflecting. In my late teens and early twenties I became “The Silent One.” All because of a casual remark, “You’re quiet tonight Paul!” Yet at around the same time Edwin Wildman “read” my handwriting and found me to be, “An Introverted Extrovert.” As regards being “Quiet”, like Brian Wilson I could rightly have said, “That’s not me!” For it wasn’t me. Once I went to Cleethorpes I became pretty “normal” really. I never became an outrageous Extrovert, but at least I spent most of my time “out of my shell”.

So just what am I then? Frankly I don’t know. Do I have to have a label? Does it matter? I’d like to think I’m an “Ambivert”. However, that would imply I usually operate appropriately as an Introvert, Extrovert or whatever. Probably nobody can claim to be flawless in that respect. We’ve all acted too silly in public or failed to speak up at the right time.

Of the two extremes, Introversion seems easier because it takes no effort. Just keep your mouth shut, your head down and daydream. Seeing as I’m reflecting, I would say that overall I’ve tended to behave more as an Introvert. I tend to keep myself to myself and write. Like I’m doing now. Am prepared to blog openly on this later or even share these very words.

To be self-critical, I strongly suspect that more Extroversion on my part would do more good. Perhaps I could take more interest in what others are doing and saying. Might even learn something. And that can’t be bad. Well, overall. Could Listen better, if I’m honest. Read more too. Not to neglect myself or my “projects” of course. It’s all a matter of balance. Nuff Said. Out.

PAUL BUTTERS.

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