Déjà Vu

a writing by Kamalika K

...His withered old hand slowly felt the folds of his throat, he was thirsty. He tried calling out but of late his voice started failing him too. Dropping something off the bedside table was the new technique he devised to call his wife. She came in wearing a frown and a flask on her hand. He noticed the lines on her face and her eyes which had sunk in just like his. With the stoop she looked tinier than what she already was. She poured him a glass of water, waited for him to finish... “Some more?” “No thank you dear, by the way you looking gorgeous today” Her small lips almost spread into grin, which made the wrinkles on her skin look even more prominent. “Sleep.” And she half walked, half limped out of the room.
Abhay stared at the ceiling. ‘Sleep’ that’s all she could come up with he thought regretfully then he smiled and thought to himself “you’ll never give up... will you?” He hated being old, most people do... but for him perhaps it was more painful because he used to be one of those active, gregarious and popular people who you used to love being what he was. Navya had been a wonderful wife... loved her almost all his life.
He reflected about his life... he got it all, didn’t he?? The girl he wanted, the job he loved, well-settled children. His life was coming to an end, he knew, and he wanted to feel satisfied. Then why this constant sense of void? “Nothing’s wrong. Be mature. You got what you chose.” As he closed his eyes, he saw the bright hazel pair meet his brown ones. Her laughter filled lips were trying their best to control a smirk as she said, “Ironic isn’t it?” Broke into a fit of laughter and gradually gave ‘that’ smile when she saw him frowning. That smile was enough to make him smile, forget all his baggage, make him feel alive again and happy.
Abhay forced his eyes open, they were moist. “Still?” he thought. “Is this why the dissatisfaction? Is she what he STILL longs for?” He could taste the bitterness that filled him. “Avni... is it you??” His tears choked him as he said these words aloud; he felt suffocated and heard a distant music... Slowly everything was fading, the room, the bedside table... he could just see her bright hazel eyes as the music grew louder and louder...

Abhay jerked awake and looked around drinking in his surroundings. He wiped the sweat off his face and realised his alarm had been ringing. Shutting it, he lay back on this bed. “What the hell was that?” he said out loud, his voice loud, clear and more importantly, young. He thought about the dream... or was it a nightmare?
He felt better, and slowly regained confidence. He started getting ready for office, had a quick breakfast and set off loving every bit of the busy London that he generally grumbled about. Greeting his colleagues with an unnecessarily big grin he settled on his desk and opened his laptop sipping his coffee. “Damn, even the coffee tasted better today!” he grinned to himself and checked who were online, his eyes lingered for a while on the little box which said Avni, who wasn’t available. He smiled, and got back to the article he was supposed to complete.

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