Its that time of year again. The dreaded word: Christmas. Well I've decided to sack it in, literally, as I threw my Christmas sack in the fire after my shrink told me I had "Work Related Stress." Maybe it's for the best. Now Mrs clause wont complain that she gets no letters or mentioned in any Christmas songs. Now the Elfs union rep wont talk about unethical work hours and unfair pay. Now I won't have to read letters from brats demanding the biggest and most expensive gifts in exchange for their 12 months of being rude, spoilt and cruel. Also think of the perks:
I wont hurt my back carrying a sack full of gifts,
I wont get soot in my hair and body from the fireplace,
I wont have peoples pets barking and clawing at me
I wont be forced to cancel my diet due to the expectation that I eat the food left for me,
I won't struggle remembering my reindeers names.
The only gift I will give this Christmas is a well earned rest for myself.