Nobody’s Perfect, Part Two

a writing by Kenneth Malvyn Clark

I was thinking again the other day of going to Heaven, not right now you understand but when the allotted time of my demise comes, some while ago I wrote a narrative with much this same thought in mind and listed the ‘For and the Against’ of me going to Heaven, it was based on a self-assessment of all my good qualities and my bad qualities, more of a philosophical and retrospective look back on my own character and how I behaved towards other people in a society I grew up in and still live in, not happy reading I’m afraid, but after yet another birthday and a further big stride towards the inevitable I like many other people who believe we will one day be judged on how we behave in our earthly lives, began to think what if there’s more to it than that, what if we’re judged on more than just our character traits and our misdemeanours against societies judicial law, what if there’s a Gods law, so, what yardstick will he judge us by and that’s when I thought about the laws he laid down in stone on Mt. Sinai, The Ten Commandments, so now I have to be honest and ask myself how does the way I’ve lived my life stack up against them laws.
1. You shall have no other gods before Me.
Not a problem, never worshiped other gods including wealth and power, maybe wished a few times to win a bit of money but apart from that, not guilty,
2.You shall make no idols.
Not quite sure I understand this one, does it mean graven images or idolising a person or something abstract, if so I would say, not guilty.
3.You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
Ah, bit difficult this one, maybe blasphemed a few times in anger so
I’ll keep my fingers crossed and hope he didn’t hear.
4.Keep the Sabbath day holy.
Again not a problem, although I’m not a regular church goer I‘ve always accepted and respected Sundays as a religious day, so again not guilty.
5.Honor your father and your mother.
Being orphaned at a young age not one I’ve been able to keep but I know if things had been different this is one I would have kept.
6.You shall not murder.
Again not guilty, but must admit there have been times when I’ve been sorely tempted.
7.You shall not commit adultery.
Ah, afraid I have to raise my hand to this one, not something I’m proud of but in my earlier days I did stray form the straight and narrow a few times, guilty I’m afraid.
8.You shall not steal.
Difficult to answer this, if he’s taking into account our childhood days and scrumming a few apples pinching the odd packet of sweets from the paper shop or borrowing a bicycle for a few days without asking then guilty, but if we’re being judged on stealing in our adult life then I’m no more guilty than the next man who finds a fiver and keeps it, so on this one I would expect a hung jury.
9.You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour.
I’m okay with this one, I can honestly say that in all my life I have never ever ratted on someone or bore false witness against anyone, well, except my brother.
10.You shall not covet thy neighbour’s house oxen wife etc.
On the positive side I’ve never coveted a house or oxen, however I have
on occasion laid on a few wives pillows as I so embarrassingly confessed
to in commandment 7, so guilty of one out of three.

Well that’s it, shall we say my religious self-assessment done, time for the
jury to deliberate, on the whole I would say guilty on three out of ten and not guilty on seven out of ten, not bad, but sadly if I add together the sum of both my self-assessments, not quite such the rosy picture I’d hoped, so in all honesty and with thought to the preservation of my soul I would have to conclude that the scales are about evenly balanced fifty fifty, which in truth brings me to the not too pleasing thought of being caught between the rock and the hard place and I somehow don’t think he’s the sort of god to toss a coin yea or nay, nor should I bank on catching him on a good day, so, between then and now it’s time to start doing what I have to do to tip the scales in my favour, for I’ve always fancied the idea of being a cherub.

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