I'm the Grate Pretender?

a poem by Hubert Wilson, USA

Stay up late.
Can't remember the last time I ate?
Lost a lot of weight.
Feel considerably less than great!
Sometimes irate.
Other times more sedate.
If my life I would rate.
Just a pathetic state!
With my soul mate,
I can't even attempt to procreate!
There is no debate.
Like the 'Balloon Boy's' story, I completely deflate!
Surely others can relate?
It's even affected by gait!
Alcohol by the crate
Does not sate!
Have I become the object of their hate?
Making my eyes widely in confusion dilate!
Even if I moved to far away Kuwait,
My woes would still translate!
What will be my miserable fate?
I must know what will eventually happen to obnoxious Jon and Kate - plus their eight?

Please? Please?? Please???

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