The Twelve Days Of Christmas (my version)

a poem by Linda Bates Terrell, USA

The Twelve Days of Christmas (My Version)

On our First day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
One small bottle of ibuprofen, and the head ache of putting up the tree.

On our Second day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
His choice of a sparse looking ten foot green spruce tree.

On our Third day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Three dozen multi-colored extension cords, for my decorating pleasure, you see.

On our Fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Forty four packs of halloween yellow twinkling lights, and said, "Have at it," and motioned to the tree.

On our Fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
A hefty fifth of Vodka, to make this horrid task so much easier for me.

On our Sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Sixty six old stained and stinky blue antique bulbs, and a grin just for me.

On our Seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Seventy seven feet of golden garland, to string on this slanted sideways huge freaking tree.

On our Eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Eighty eight cases of tinsel, and a fat pink stuffed reindeer that I hid on the back branch of the tree.

On our Ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Ninety nine rusty old tin soldiers, to hang on our now smelly overly decorated tree.

On our Tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Ten gnarly ragged fat stuffed Santa's for the base, that looked utterly absurd to me.

On our Eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Eleven cases of eggnog, and a hug, just for me.

On the Twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, another giant tree to decorate, and a I pitched it out the door, while smiling at him, ever so c-h-e-e-r-f-u-l-l-y.

Linda Bates Terrell ©
December 4, 2011


*This is my Christmas Poem for everyone, my own version, however I am not taking credit for some of the original words from the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' (Roud #68), which was either English or French. The 'Twelve days of Christmas has been sung for so many years no one actually knows how many years ago it was written or by whom. However, over the years many have changed the words in many various forms. I do not wish to take away from the magnificent original religious version, but just used a form of writing where each following line tops the line before it, yet in a humorous manner.


Merry Christmas to all my friends here at VoiceNet, my family, and many friends.






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