MY WILDS

a poem by Kelly Len Jonson, USA

Clamoring Sounds throughout the town
Competing for all my attentions
Pursue the noise, chasing boy-toys
Sobrieties gone in remission.
Preclude what’s done in the name of fun
To occupy forethoughts of my wilds.
Do what I want without mind's taunts
To scare the poor selfish inner child.
Elude recourse but then of course
The exodus of hope’s ambition

It seems to me that there should be
Another chance on the rise n’
To live so free becomes to me
The true self felt on the horizon
Yearnings come out. Inevitable bouts
Insidious bewilderment there
Obsessive sprees now on my knees
Incomprehensibly
I’m still aware
Trembling inside notions of pride
A remedy of self deception

Tremendous urges deliberately surge
Peculiar acts of premeditation
Subtly vile fetching a smile
Lurking remainders of demoralization
Intriguing plight obliged by fright
Convalescence of repressed desires
Bender of repute musters dispute
And escorts controversial chatter of liars
Conceded robust affection and lust
Ceases fears and renders my consternation

Convinced and vain the crux of my pains
Ad infinitum aid determination
Mangled, I mend. Committed to end
All the ridicule and humiliations
Accepting myself, greed engulfs
All of the dismal and bitter tears
Joy is released. Peacefully pleased
Anxious to make up for lost years
Now a stance, not just a scant chance
To create imaginable life illustrations

I go now
To indulge
The wilds
Of self realization

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