Fighting every day

a poem by Elizabeth Grace Shearer, UK - poetry writer, author, poet

I don't belong here, its not where I should be
I don't fit in here, its clear everyone can see
Living with other people was never going to end well
Its not hard to see, just one look and you can tell

I'm a screw up, a failure its written all over my face
I'm ruining everything, I shouldn't be in this place
He's right I cant keep doing this, ruining peoples lives
Every word and action plunges into them like knives

I destroy people's lives in an attempt to save my own
but that's the problem, I'm selfish, I want to be unknown
I never meant to hurt anyone, I just wanted something more
and now I'm here and got it all, I'm looking an excuse to walk out the door

Trapped in my own stupidity, I don't know what I was thinking
I should have stuck to what I know, taking drugs and drinking
At least that way I am the only one to know what I'm doing
That's what I deserve, there is no point in pretending

I'm too screwed up to change now, too far gone to try
Instead I cause people misery and cause them to cry
I should be alone, the world is better off without me
If I was brave enough, then from me they would be free

But I don't have the guts to do it,a sniveling, whimpering mess
So even though I hate the way I hurt them, onward I must press
Its not like I can just leave and let them live a better way
Iv got nowhere to go, burnt to many bridges to stay.

False hope?
Times of Struggle
Anywhere at all?

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