It was the worst funeral I’ve ever been to in my life.
I didn’t even know the guy…
Mazzy, my friend from across the hallway
needed a funeral partner
and none of her boyfriends were up to it,
so I had to be Johnny on the Spot…
The wind was howling.
I was standing there in a thin black coat
next to an open grave,
with a coffin being lowered into it;
freezing my ass off
with Mazzy strangling my arm
There weren’t a lot of people there.
made them even look less.
All freezing their asses off;
staring at the coffin being lowered.
No one’s crying;
and the preacher’s telling us
after all his years of breathing just fine,
the guy ended up turning into dust…
Mazzy told me the guy’s name was Derrick.
He was an unpleasant man.
Everybody just pitched up for his funeral
to make sure he was really dead
and out of the world for good.
He died of a combination
of painkillers and vodka;
something that’ll kill you outright.
They lowered his coffin
way down deep into mother Earth.
As deep as it would go.
Nobody hung around for too long.
I needed something hard to drink.
I was seriously shivering down into my bones…
We all left
leaving it up to the graveyard caretakers
to fill his hole….
Conrad Kruger van den Bergh (2015, Copyright)