Confused kid

a poem by Onyeka Anyakora, Nigeria

I wish I could explain who I am, or how I feel
I always use the wrong words and people misunderstand
Maybe they understand but I can't just face the truth
But honestly I always feel completely misunderstood

Sometimes I feel friendly and searching for a laugh
Adventurous and daring, a happy mad max
Then suddenly I love been lonely, I hate the attention
I want to walk in and have fun without human detection.

I want to feel no life around me, just me in lifeless eden
Talking with me, my own beloved best friend
Enjoying the beauty of hearing the slient wind
And the joys of a lonely full moon, the bliss of isolation

Sometimes I'm an artist, dissecting the world with Socrates
A wanderer, searching for meaning in the void of living
A philosopher, on a path to find enlightenment
Or one of the lost souls scattered across the earth

Then I have my depressed moments, alone in a dark room
Feeling like human connection ends in disappointment
Where I want to be loved but intensely fear heartbreak
When I can't feel happy and feel very very alone

But everyday is a new day, a chance for numerous possibilities
Maybe I haven't found a place I belong, maybe that's what's truly missing
But I know I have something precious, very valuable for that I'm grateful
I may be lost but at least not gone, so for having life I praise the heavens

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