When I am gone from this spiritless earth
feel not inclined to grieve for me
as you may think I would like.

My funeral shall be a lavish affair
unsuitability being it’s theme
as it is my last accolade.

Do not conform to the wearing of black
through a last mark of respect
for black is not appealing…

Laugh at my appalling choice of funeral song
it's lack of meaning and poignancy
and sing loudly and out of tune.

Feel not ashamed to ridicule the priest's robes
and make comments on his femininity-
and do this throughout his sermon…

Do not take that walk to the alter
head down with watering eyes
simply to talk about how I will be dearly missed…

Tell your audience of my love for shallow romantic comedies
and how I longed to be swept of my feet
like a real princess.

Let them be amused by my fairytale dreams
a contradiction to the realistic woman I was…
let them know the real me.

And when the drear service has ended
moan about the discomfort of the pews
and vow to yourself never to go to another funeral.

And at my wake, ignore good etiquette, behave as you desire
and I beg of you, do not see such behaviour
as scarceness of regard.

For I no longer warrant regard, I am gone from your lives
I ask you to celebrate your joys, celebrate your blessings,
and finally…celebrate me.