You thought you were slick
jolly St. Nick
last year when you left coal for me,
but i'm ahead of you
and all that you do
just wait and you will see.

With you on the way
and your reindeer pulling sleigh
i went to my rooftop and removed the snow,
i dumped piles of sand
so you could'nt land
and would have no place to go.

And if you somehow found a way
that is okay
because there is more in store for you,
like when you start to shimmey down
the chimmney you found
and there's flames just shooting through.

If for some reason you last
and make it past
booby trap #2,
just like before
there will be more in store
in cookies i left for you.

Eat them for me
and you will soon see
the rest of your journey on a porclian seat,
then maybe you'll think twice
of who's naught or nice
and not leave coal as christmas treat.