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Two Poems from our Funny Poetry Collection

 
 
FAMILY TALE
   
Author: Lee Emmett
   
Poem:
FAMILY TALE
   
  have you been told about Alice?
born into a marshmallow palace
drank warm milk from a chalice
makes up whopping lies to tell us

her brother is naughty Simon
always gives girls the ‘come on’
turned to reading sermons
as local minister at Vermont

young Alice and Simon together
cover dolls in tar and feather
toss toys out in bad weather
for Millie the dog to gather

unfortunate father and mother
became black-magical lovers
read tarot and i ching under covers
wizard turns them both to plovers

poor Simon and Alice orphans
take to eating jam muffins
baked in neighbours’ ovens
boosts natural endorphins
   
  More Funny poems
 
 
THE CLOCK ON THE WALL
   
Author: Susan Attanasio
   
Poem: THE CLOCK ON THE WALL
   


The sun’s coming up
Peaking round the shade
And the clock on the wall
Is ready to rush my day

Yawning and stretching
For another minute or two
That clock on the wall
Telling me what to do

My shower is finished
My hair done to a tee
That damn clock on the wall
Is now shouting at me

Now that I’m at work
That infernal clock will keep
My eight long hours
With hardly a peep

Finally back home
The door closed and locked
Slowly I turned
And shot that damned clock
 
More Funny poems

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