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Two Poems from our Funny Poetry Collection

 
 
CELL PHONES STINK
   
Author: Owen Jensen
   
Poem:
CELL PHONES STINK
   
  Hey you on that cell phone,
you know who you are,
driving 90 down the highway,
while yapping in your car.

I've heard you yakking at the healthclub,
and blabbing on the train.
You think you're pretty cool,
but you're really a big, damn pain!!

Have you ever heard of shutting up,
for once in your selfish life?!
Not everyone around you,
wants to know your whole sex life.

I thought I saw it all,
when at the library--
a woman on her cell phone
blabbering incessantly.

She didn't seem to notice,
and didn't seem to care,
that her chatting like a moron
was causing me to glare!

I told her to pipe it down,
that quiet is the rule,
but she only went on and on,
as if at the public pool.

Then one day it happened.
I was in church, to do some praying,
when I heard in the pew behind me,
that stupid, little "ring...ring."

Alas, no one picked it up,
and probably just as well.
Maybe it was the devil calling,
saying,"I'll see you all in hell."
   
  More Funny poems
 
 
CHEATING
   
Author: Haden Baker
   
Poem: CHEATING
   

Cheating is a way of life
For some that's what they say
But take it from a better man
Who's found a better way
I never take short cuts
Or dream throughout the day
I give a full eight hours
For a full eight hours pay
I've always payed my taxes
No matter the distress
I feel that it's my duty
To pay the IRS
And when I find a dollar
That's lying on the ground
I'm always the first to ask
Whose dollar have I found
So take it from a better man
You must keep on a trying
While you work on your cheating
...I'll work on my lying
 
More Funny poems

 

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