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Soda Jerk (Give Me Something Refreshing)
By: Noah Eaton
6/18/06
Hey, Mr. Soda Jerk,
what’s buzzin’, cuzzin?
(Ah, hey there, Gunther Toody,
and what can I get for you today?)
(Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray, Pops,
and keep ‘em comin’!)
.
.
.
Give me something refreshing,
give me something great,
give me something refreshing,
to quench me this hot summer day!
Give me something refreshing,
give me something with ice,
give me something refreshing,
that’ll leave me kickin’ on cloud nine!
Hey, Mr. Soda Jerk,
what’s you tale, nightingale,
fix me something,
that’ll make my taste buds wail!
(Illuminate me with your illuminations!)
Puts in time and a half with a belly laugh,
makes music shakin’ each carafe,
just rev up that fountain jet,
and use your imagination!
Give me something refreshing,
give me something great,
give me something refreshing,
to quench me this hot summer day!
Give me something refreshing,
give me something with ice,
give me something refreshing,
that’ll leave me kickin’ on cloud nine!
Watch him work that ice maker,
just like a high school paper maker,
he’s got more stamina,
than a thousand pledge takers!
Watch him work that ice maker,
just like a high school paper maker,
he’s got more stamina,
than a thousand pledge takers!)
Hey, Mr. Soda Jerk,
what’s you tale, nightingale,
fix me something,
that’ll make my taste buds wail!
(Go ahead and razz my berries!)
I’ve got a hot date,
at a quarter to eight,
and I’ve got a bent eight,
that’s got me made in the shade!
(Top it with a maraschino cherry!)
Give me something refreshing,
give me something great,
give me something refreshing,
to quench me this hot summer day!
Give me something refreshing,
give me something with ice,
give me something refreshing,
that’ll leave me kickin’ on cloud nine!
(Make it smooth and sturdy,
rich like Richie Rich,
sweet like sugarcane,
mild like Milo & Otis…)
.
.
.
(Let me show you how the Soda Jerk does it,
belly up to the bar!)
First, we’re gonna twist it, choke it like that,
twist it, choke it like this,
and then make it crackle out loud,
righto, we’re gonna twist it, choke it,
make it crackle out loud,
split one, shoot it yellow,
shoot one from the south.
We’re gonna twist it, choke it like that,
twist it, choke it like this,
and then make it crackle out loud,
righto, we’re gonna twist it, choke it,
make it crackle out loud,
split one, shoot it yellow,
shoot one from the south!
Watch him work that ice maker,
just like a high school paper maker,
he’s got more stamina,
than a thousand pledge takers!
Watch him work that ice maker,
just like a high school paper maker,
he’s got more stamina,
than a thousand pledge takers!)
(Good luck, kid,
I hope your date is a blast,
don’t forget your mirror warmer,
wow, that sure brings me back…
…how about my Hoboken Special for the road?)
Give me something refreshing,
give me something great,
give me something refreshing,
to quench me this hot summer day!
Give me something refreshing,
give me something with ice,
give me something refreshing,
that’ll leave me kickin’ on cloud nine!
.
.
.
(ding ding ding)
.
.
.
(Hey, Soda Jerk,
what’s the word from the bird?)
(Goin’ steady, buddy,
how ‘bout a Dusty Miller?)
(Thanks, Pops,
and keep ‘em comin’!)
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